Here are my 5 tips to help you get respect from your children. Remember that you have to give respect to get respect.
- I will be a calm and controlled parent. Parenting is all about leadership and good leaders are calm and controlled as this instills confidence in those around them. If you lose it and yell and scream at your kids you may instill fear in them, but that’s not effective leadership, it’s the opposite. This approach will usually come back to haunt you when they are teenagers and they decide to rebel as fear only works when they’re little.
- I will listen to my children. Listening is the #1 parenting skill. Effective listening is all about listening to understand and respect the other person’s views. Parents often get caught in the trap of listening to gain information to lecture with which leads to your children not wanting to confide in you.
- I will teach my children how to self-discipline themselves. You teach them how to self-discipline themselves by disciplining them when they’re growing up. Discipline is often thought of as punishment. Yes, there can be some punishment involved but it’s really just about consequences: good choices = good results / bad choices = bad results. A good example of this is if your son hits your daughter, he then has to make her bed for a week. He made a bad choice and is now getting bad results. The bonus is that the victim gets out of doing a chore for a week… even better.
- I will teach my children how to earn what they receive. Make your children work for fun. If they want to go to the park, say, “Sure, just as soon as you clean up your room, off to the park we go.” As they’re growing up and they want a cell phone, make them do extra chores around the house to earn it, work out a schedule that you all agree on. This teaches them that they don’t get everything handed to them in life and gets them better prepared for the real world. Day-to-day chores are also necessary… but make sure they’re age appropriate. Even a 2 year old can help you put toys away. Not fair to ask them to do it themselves, but make it a team effort.
- I will get respect by showing respect. You show respect by doing all of the above which, in turns, leads to you being respected. Consistency is the key as if you’re only doing the above during the week then it’s a free-for-all on weekends, you lose respect.
