There are some causes of divorce that married couples should know. At the root of most causes of divorce is basic personality differences that couples don’t know how to handle. It is very common for two people to have completely different views of the very same event or situation. Learning the causes of divorce and how to stop them from breaking up your marriage is important to know

It is not uncommon for causes of divorce to stem from conflicting personalities or different ways of thinking that were hidden during the courtship and the early part of a marriage. Unfortunately after the marriage goes past the early stages, personality traits and conflicting approaches begin to surface which are reasons for divorce in many cases.

These differing personalities and viewpoints often lead to a stressful marriage followed by a break down in communication between spouses which are some of the causes of divorce. Communication breakdowns make it difficult for couples to address marital issues and hopefully solve problems.

Below are 5 Common Causes of Divorce

1. Verbal abuse – verbal aggression can be extremely destructive to a relationship. It is a way of belittling the spouse on the receiving end as well as showing lack of respect for them. Verbal abuse occurs when a spouse calls their partner names, repeatedly yells at them, dismisses their spouses feelings and constantly criticizes their partner. Verbal abuse just like any abuse can erode the abused spouses confidence and feelings of self worth if it goes unchecked. These feelings can become internalized. Verbal abusive behavior is one of the biggest causes of divorce.

One of the causes of divorce is a spouse who is unable to control abusive behavior which could be a sign that the abusive spouse is suffering from some sort of emotional disorder requiring professional help.

2. Lack of marital communication skills – Not having the necessary communication skills needed for a happy marriage is counted as one of the major causes of divorce. Disagreements are common in relationships. Solving marital conflict requires good marital communication skills. Two key marital communication skills are talking and listening.

• Talking/Speaking to your spouse effectively requires an understanding that words have meaning. Words used and how you say them will have a large impact on how they are received by your spouse.
• Learning the right listening skills are necessary to really hear what your spouse is saying to you and conveying back to your spouse they are being heard. This includes both verbal and non verbal skills. This is great for fixing causes of divorce.

3. Unrealistic expectations are one of the causes of divorce – Unrealistic expectations can damage a marriage when expectations are unreasonable. Expectations can include an unrealistic view of how marriage is supposed to be without accounting for what actually happens in most people’s lives. Not understanding that marriage will have its ups and downs and expecting things to always be the way they want it is one of the causes of divorce to be avoided. Unrealistic expectations can be involve sex, money, work or many other issues.

4. Using divorce as the first solution to marital problems is one of the causes of divorce. Many states have a no fault divorce provision making it easier for couples to divorce. In today’s society some see divorce as a way of solving marital problems and are more likely to file for divorce when things get stressful. Unfortunately the fallout from divorce can have serious emotional and financial effects on families where divorce was the first choice.

5. Influences from outside of the Marriage – When a spouse feels neglected or that others have undue influence on their marriage it can lead to severe marriage problems and become one of the causes of divorce.

• Causes of divorce are often meddling parents, family and friends. Allowing others to negatively impact a marriages is responsible much marital conflict and is one of the causes of divorce. Family or friends can cause unnecessary problems between couples. Often meddling takes the form of intruding on a couples privacy, monopolizing holidays and week ends, starting disagreements and conflict, constantly dropping in unannounced, unnecessary criticism of a spouse, and other controlling behavior. Solving this problem will require both spouses to remember that a marriage is a union of two people and that they must set boundaries and stick to them.

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  Working long hours can put a lot of stress on marriage and can cause one or both spouses to feel neglected. It is one of the causes of divorce. If both spouses are working there may be little time available to spend together and may require some creative out of the box thinking.

• Taking advantage of opportunities to spend time together does not have to be complicated. Simple things like doing chores together, running errands together, going for quick or long walks, and talking are a few activities to deal with long work hours and little time. If one spouse works outside of the home and the other stays home special attention should be given to supporting each others feeling and stresses. Feelings of loneliness can develop for the stay at home spouse which should be taken very seriously. This is one of the causes of divorce that is often comes as a surprise for one of the spouses.

With today’s divorce rates at such high levels there are many causes of divorce. When most people marry they expect their marriage to last a lifetime and are not anticipating getting a divorce. Learning the reasons for divorce and what to do about them can help save a marriage. Many couples have benefited from online resources to save their marriage. Strategies for ending the stress and unhappiness in your marriage are available at a number of resources.